23 things I’ve learned in 23 years!

Hey guys! Since it was my birthday recently, I wanted to make to make it a little more positive and share with you some of the most important things I’ve learned so far during my life. I hope you enjoy this post! Let me know in the comments one of the best life lessons you’ve ever learned that you think I need to know!!

 

1. You can never be over educated. Listen. Respect your elders. Explore other cultures- Ignorance can be cured but stupidity cannot.

2. Pay close attention to the people who don’t clap when you win. If they don’t celebrate your achievements and respond with jealousy or put you down, ditch them, they’re toxic.

3. Everyone’s path is different, life is not a race.

4. Never change who you are on the inside to please someone else.

5. It’s ok not to be ok.

6. Real Love is/should be easy, but maintaining relationships takes work on both sides.

7. Trust once broken is a thousand times more difficult to repair than to maintain

8. The people who are meant to be in your life will be. Don’t waste your energy chasing or trying to force fake friends to stay.

9. No matter how kind your intentions, some people will hate you for speaking the truth. Save your advice for people who deserve it.

10. Self-care is vital. Poor mental health can have detrimental effects physically as well as mentally, so it’s important to look after yourself in all aspects.

11. No amount of wealth or material gain can make you richer than someone with an abundance of wonderful memories. Don’t waste your life.

12. People grow and change. You should never apologise for evolving positively or leaving people behind who don’t appreciate your journey

13. Family is chosen through loyalty and love. Blood ties mean nothing.

14. Never trust people who don’t believe in magic at least to some degree!! (The worst kind of muggles)

15. The more you try to oppress your true self the more miserable your life will become. Fitting in is overrated sometimes!

16. Soulmates are definitely more than just lovers or romantic partners. Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, be it a chapter or a lifetime, and that’s ok. We learn lessons from them.

17. “We accept the love we think we deserve”. Until you learn your true value and stand up for what you’re worth it will be hard for people to treat you as such. You deserve to be treated the way you are in your wildest dreams.

18. Trust your gut instincts, but know how to distinguish them from anxiety. I truly believe that all beings are born with a sixth sense to some degree that is knocked out of them by society. If something feels wrong, it probably is- but don’t let your anxiety imitate this power.

19. A simple compliment can make someone’s whole day better. There’s so much power in that. If you can make someone happy, always do so. (The greatest NYE Resolution I ever made)

20. White, Black, Asian, fat, thin, ugly, pretty. We all look the same when we are skeletons in the ground. Always do your best not to judge people by their exterior.

21. Try new cultures. When travelling, immerse yourself into something new. Don’t just go to a foreign country to dine on burgers and chips, or to enter nightclubs that are exactly the same as the ones back home. There are so many interesting stories and things to learn about new people and places. Give it a chance.

22. No matter how much you want something, it won’t come to you unless you work for it.

23. There is always hope.

 


 

I really hope you guys enjoyed this post, or at least found something that resonates with you a little!

See you next time!

Love From Frankii x

Birthdays suck…

Every year I dread my Birthday. I always see people with big extravagant parties, gifts and surrounded by family and friends. As an introvert, and as someone who suffers with anxiety, my friendship circle has always been small. I struggle making new friends, because I’m always weary of new people who might judge me or misunderstand my self-care/hibernation periods. I spent far too much of my young adult life trying to please and impress people who never cared a smidge about me- so nowadays I’d rather have no friends than I would fake friends. I’ve made peace with that, and I love my small collection of remaining friends.

Previously, where I may have tried to organise a big meal or event with “friends”, in recent years for the most part I’ve given up. Sometimes I find life a little tough as I always feel a bit on the outside. Like I’m always a friend but never a “best-friend”.

As it happens, since January 3rd is such an awkward date, I’ve always found that people will produce a multitude of excuses and flake. “I have no money”, “I’m still hungover from NYE”, “I’m back at work that day”, “I’m with family”. While these are all valid excuses, I became exhausted by getting my hopes up every year that one year would be different and that someone would remember and give me an amazing surprise- or at the very least, make the day less depressing.

In essence, nothing about 23 is an exciting age, and at this stage I’m fairly certain I will be spending it alone with my cat. All I ever really hope for are memories. I just wish that my birthdays didn’t always seem to merge into one constant dreary January. This year I had my best friends over and a visitor for Austin over for New Year, so I suppose that today after dropping them off at the train station anything would feel slightly anticlimactic- but my husband and my mum this year both couldn’t take it off work. Of course, this isn’t their fault, but it does add substantially to the feeling of disappointment. I’m quite family oriented and I live for the moments that involve the whole family together spending some quality time just laughing.

Furthermore, now I’m past 21, I struggle to get excited about hitting age milestones. It makes me feel a little frightened at the speed my life is going, and generally just more aware of my own mortality. My birthday always serves as a reminder I’m probably almost a quarter of a way through my life, and that I’ve barely achieved anything in that time. Not only that, but it actually seems to serve as a cute little reminder of how lonely and isolated I’ve become. All in all, I will probably spend tomorrow in bed, napping, and playing the PS4… and I’m ok with that.

The intent of this post isn’t to sound whiny, selfish and entitled, but I really want to make a point of sharing both the good and the bad parts of mental health. This time of year is never a great one for me, but alas, there’s always next year. Wish me happy gaming!

Love,

Frankii.

The New Years Resolution that changed my life…

What’s up guys? Now Christmas is over, It’s safe to say that New Years Day is officially creeping up on us, and so I’m sure many of you are thinking about setting a New Years Resolution, or if you’re anything like me, just bracing yourself for the tsunami of inspiring “new year new me” status updates from those Facebook friends you just haven’t got round to un-friending yet.

In my adult life I never really believed in New Years Resolutions, and Quite Franklii (😉 she said it!!!) Every year without fail I would become increasingly tired of everyone indulging in some new ridiculous fad diet, and of middle aged women exclaiming how “naughty” they’ve been for eating all the mince pies. (Just so you know, every time you punish yourself for indulging in a tasty treat you deserve at Christmas, a piece of Santa’s soul wilts.) But, if you’re looking to try something realistic, meaningful and achievable this year, put down that Gym Membership you’ll use once this year and keep on reading to find out the one New Years Resolution that actually did change my life.

 


 

You reap what you sow…

Growing up, I was always a confident child. Then I got bullied, had abusive relationships and shitty/toxic friends. As an INFP, my thoughts have always been fairly altruistic and kind, so I struggled a great deal growing up and realising this was not inside everyone. I found myself listening to girls tearing each other down and speaking behind each other’s backs, often saying things I would never even think, let alone say. Though these experiences didn’t necessarily affect my thought patterns- they definitely did impact the way in which I viewed the world, I became more cynical and much much more ‘shy’ and ‘reserved’ with my opinions- mostly for fear of standing out, looking odd or weird.

In 2015, a friend made an innocent comment that really stuck with me. He said “I love it when you give compliments, because it happens so rarely I know when you approve of something you really mean it.” At the time, I was in a major depressive episode, and was on a really serious spiritual journey to find out more about who I really was. Naturally, this involved a great deal of self-reflection.

I’d always known I wasn’t the most demonstrative person, I’ve always been a little reserved, and consequently accused of being “cold-hearted” and detached. As I mentioned previously, though I would laugh and play into that stereotype, this was never because I didn’t have love to give, more that I was very guarded and careful with who I shared it with. (Now, actually, this is a trait that I’ve accepted and actually like about myself, as it provides an extra ‘security check’- My empathetic nature often means that people will take advantage of me and drain my energy.)

But- I didn’t realise I was withholding admiration for those closest to me.

This really got me thinking, when was the last time I complimented my mother? My grandmother? My closest friends? A stranger? The truth was, I’d become so paranoid about coming across as creepy, or weird, that I had begun to come across as cynical and cold.

Now, I don’t necessarily totally believe in ‘the law of attraction’, but I definitely do believe in karma. I try hard nowadays to be as kind as possible to people, because regardless of how much someone dislikes me, I never want people to be able to say that I was unkind. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” if you will. Thinking about this, It was then, that I made my New Years Resolution.

If you have nice thoughts, be kind and give compliments freely, (and the hard part) even if your anxiety tells you it makes you look weird.
This is about reconditioning your mind, and reminding yourself that no matter what your anxiety or your insecurities say, it doesn’t. By reaching out to say something kind, what is the worst that can happen? Perhaps the recipient does think you’re a little odd, or a little creepy- but at least you’ve maybe made them feel good and boosted their ego even the slightest bit.

I think so often in this world of social media, it can be so tempting to just give stuff a “like” and move on with your day. But what makes this Resolution so achievable is that you can even ease into it by exercising it on social media. Instead of just leaving a like- tell someone you love the way they do their makeup, their writing style, their work ethic.

The more you do this, the more you will be encouraged to continue doing it. It’s honestly so rewarding. 9 times out of 10, people will generally be so grateful, especially for the more thought out kind gestures, that it will really boost your confidence, ease your anxiety and actually make you feel good yourself.

So, if you don’t have a Resolution yet, you never usually stick to them, you don’t believe in them, or you think they’re all meaningless- think again, and maybe consider making a simple vow to work on yourself and try to give compliments and give love freely. You’ll be surprised by how instantly your own life will become more positive and light.

really hope you guys enjoyed this post, and that perhaps it’s inspired you to give kindness a little more freely in 2018. With the amount of hatred and the global political climate we’ve been left with after 2017, it’s more apparent than ever that there can never be too much love and kindness in the world. Pick up the phone and tell someone they are awesome today.

Happy New Year everyone!

Love from,

Frankii. X

My thanksgiving to-do list!

Hey Guys!
Believe it or not I am one of the few bloggers out there with the worst organisation skills ever. Therefore, as promised this morning, I thought I would share with you the to-do list I created to assist me with the lead up to Thanksgiving! Let me know in the comments if I’ve forgotten anything or if you’d like to see any recipes from my menu! I really hope you enjoy!! 

My To-Do List Includes:

3-4 Weeks Before:

Write a guest list

Invite family and friends you are genuinely thankful for. In my case this involves missing out toxic individuals, or those who I know or suspect would disrespect the house and the beautiful environment I’m working hard to put together (especially if there is alcohol involved). After all, this is my home.
Don’t feel pressured to invite people who you or other guests may not feel comfortable around. Drama free evening please!! (I divided my thanksgiving in two, not to prevent drama, but because my family isn’t very social, and I don’t want to force them into an uncomfortable situation with strangers- a.k.a. my potentially very drunk friends.)

Purchase an outfit

If you’re planning on wearing something a bit special, like a new dress or possibly something a bit Autumnal, think about ordering this a few weeks in advance in order to avoid heartbreak and paying next-day delivery.

Read magazines/browse for inspiration

Find recipes and decor ideas either online or in magazines. Even in the UK magazines this is possible, because most places will already have released Christmas magazines that probably contain a lot of recipes that can translate for Thanksgiving as well. This year I loved reading the Tesco 2017 Christmas mag because it had some amazing recipes and visual stimuli. As usual, for decor, I was obsessed with Pintrest. I spend way too much of my life on Pintrest.

Order decor/other

Order or craft any decor you’ve seen on Pintrest that you just ‘need’. Also, consider whether you need extra cutlery or plastic cups. For example, I ordered an ash-tray to put outside, and a drinks dispenser for the punch.  

Write your menu

 Of course, this is the most important one of all! and needs to be done ahead of time so you don’t waste money on food that won’t be used, or forget to order certain items.
Consider any guests with dietary requirements or allergies; for example, my mother is what I like to call a sh*tatarian. She is technically a pescatarian, meaning that the only meat she eats is fish- but she can be very fussy with vegetarian options. I worry about her nutrition often, as she has a tendency to cook for her omni family and forget about herself. Normally with a roast we would cook a bit of salmon, but for this occasion I bought her a Linda McCartney pie, because even as a meat eater I think they are absolutely delicious. Mine includes:
***
Starters:
Frozen Hors d’oeuvres (cheating I know),
Bacon and Cranberry Puff Pastry Snowflake, with Melted Brie
Main:
Roast Turkey,
Roast Pork,
One Linda McCartney vegetarian pie,
Green Bean Casserole,
Cranberry Sauce (both smooth and whole berry),
Roast Veg with Seasonal Roots,
Asparagus Tips,
Pigs in Blankets,
Mashed Potatoes,
Carrot and Swede Mash,
Roasted Sprouts with Bacon,
Broccoli & Cauliflower,
Cauliflower Cheese,
Homemade Yorkshire Puddings (Just try serving a bunch of Brits a roast with no Yorkshires, & their faces contort in disgust!),
Stuffing (meat inside and vegetarian outside the bird),
Meat Gravy (Plus vegetarian one separate)
Dessert:
Sweet Potato Pie,
Chocolate Tart,
Pear and Chocolate Crumble with ice cream.
Drinks:
‘Apple Pie’ Punch
“Open Bar”

***


1-2 Weeks Before:

Write a shopping list & Order Non Perishables

Make a list based on your menu, then divide into 2 by frozen/non perishables, and food you need/want to order fresh. Order frozen and non perishables such as alcohol, then put your other list somewhere for safekeeping. That way, later on you can grab fresh food such as veggies + add any thing you forgot onto the new list.

Think about a punch that would be widely enjoyed– for example I held off on the Malibu as I know many people dislike/have allergies to coconuts. I love to watch Tipsy Bartender on YouTube- even though I rarely drink outside of big events/Christmas nowadays.

Think about areas where it may be possible to cheat! It doesn’t make you a bad person to cut corners in some places. For example, I realized my life would be made substantially easier if I purchased a pre-made shortcrust pastry for my sweet potato pie. No- it’s not that difficult to make- but it saves time and energy later on when I will be rushed off my feet.

Make Placeholders

This is especially useful if there are attendees who don’t get always along. In my case, Due to being extremely picky with my invites, I hope they will just serve as whimsical keepsakes.

1-2 Days Before:

Clean/tidy house

This may seem obvious, but make sure your home is guest ready. For me, I had to make  a list including chores I would normally put off- for example things such as bleaching skirting board and treating my bathroom for limescale. (Norfolk is an area that has very hard water, which causes a frequent build up). Austin and I also had a small domestic regarding whose duty it was to catch the unwanted guest in the bathroom… he is terrified of spiders! Make sure all your dishes are clean, or else you might find yourself scrambling on the day looking for something that is in the dishwasher!

Entertainment!

Bring your speakers downstairs, make a playlist. Consider games/activities for when it gets quiet. Cards against humanity is a must- but as massive nerds we actually are planning to introduce D&D to our friends for the first time. Not to mention probably some drinking games later on. My favourite is the nomination game!

Pamper yourself

 Pick an outfit, do your nails, shave, pamper yourself for the long day ahead. Speaking from the experience of last year, you won’t have much time to do this on the day- even despite the precautions you have taken. It is probable that you will still be standing in the kitchen until the very last minute!

Prepare your veg

Clean, peel, chop and vacuum pack vegetables so all you have to do is cook them the day after.
To do this, place your vegetables into a ziplock bag, and pop a straw into the outside corner. Do the zip up all the way to the edge of the straw, then use it to suck out all the excess air. Seal the bag, and pop in the fridge!

Cook the desserts

Hot ones such as crumble that can be refrigerated and then warmed up on the day. The day before Thanksgiving I’m setting some allocated time to make all three of the desserts on the menu. Luckily, the crumble is a fairly easy one, as the temperature required doesn’t necessarily matter-  so it can go in at the same time!

Put up decorations

Set and lay the table, as well as placing any center pieces and pretty bits where you would like them to go. I added an autumnal wreath, some themed balloons and candles for ambiance.


On the Big Day:

Consider roping off areas

Yes, they are guests, and you shouldn’t make the night feel too artificial by enforcing a 2 page list of rules. However, they should respect your boundaries, especially if there is alcohol and or children involved. Don’t feel bad for roping off a certain area of your house if you think it may cause issues or unwanted mess.

Cook

Obvious, I know (as though you need to be reminded). Cook the foods you have planned out in your menu. This should be much easier with your squeaky clean kitchen and ready-to-go vegetables. However, if you find yourself extremely stressed or short of time be sure not to push yourself too hard. There will almost definitely be enough food regardless of whether or not you miss out or forget one or two dishes, as it’s the custom for guests to bring something along.

Get Ready!

Lay out all the beautiful food on the table, get yourself dressed and ready and have a glass of wine while you wait for your guests to arrive! You’ve earned it!

Gifts for Geeks | Christmas 2017

Whats up guys? I know what you’re all thinking, but yes, with Halloween done and out of the way, whether we like it or not Christmas is fast approaching!

As you may know, I’m a total media junkie. I love TV/film/gaming, so when EMP got in contact with me and asked me to do a post I was super excited because I knew it was time to do my first ever Christmas gift guide! So down below I’m going to talk about some of the things that caught my eye from their website.


Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts

Of course, if you know me at all or keep up with my posts such as The Harry Potter Tag, you’ll know I am obsessed with Harry Potter and the entire universe that J.K Rowling has gifted the world. So of course, this was the first section of the website I headed for. I was totally pleasantly surprised at the amount of merchandise to choose from, so it was really tough for me to narrow down this little selection, but here are the items I chose to share with you- either because I love them, or its something I’ve never seen before!

Dark Arts Notebook – £17.99

Although personally I am a Gryffindor, I always find myself attracted to the dark objects. They are always so beautiful, and I particularly love the metallic green finish on this piece. I think this would be an amazing gift for any Potter fan who needs a nifty little notebook. But really, especially is there such a thing as too many notebooks?

Gryffindor Pyjamas – £24.99

I picked out these because I know several families who have traditions of opening a set of cosy PJ’s on Christmas eve, to open open presents in the next day- which is a tradition I fully intend to get behind now I have my own household. I am a Pyjama fanatic, and I love nothing more than changing into my cosiest PJ’s as soon as I set foot in my house.  Of course if you’re from a different house, they have others available in this style!

Earring Set – £9.99 – £6.99

My favourite kind of wearable merchandise is always subtle merchandise, which is why I loved these so much. I love to be able to sneak cute accents like this into my everyday outfits. Earrings always make for a great stocking filler, and this set is super cute and affordable.

Wax Seal Kit – £29.99 – £24.99

I had a kit very similar to this one a few years back that I purchased from the Harry Potter studios. I love the design on the stamp piece here though, It looks like a lot more care went into the creation of this one. This gift is ideal for stationary lovers, I really enjoyed the process of using wax seals, it just makes your post look so much more exciting- I don’t know why people ever stopped using them!

Niffler/Dumbledore Funko – £9.99 

Now I personally don’t collect Funko’s, but I know so many people that do. I have to say though, despite me not being a collector, I totally fell in love with these two pieces. Dumbledore especially. From his lilac robes to his sparkly looking hat, I just think he’s the cutest. I also couldn’t get away without posting at least one piece of Niffler merch, he is one of my favourite characters in the J.K universe. I too, am obsessed with shiny things, little guy!

Wizard Chess Set – £45.99

Ok, I have always wanted a Wizard Chess set to sit on my coffee table from the first time I visited the Harry Potter studios in London and saw a very expensive glass set. I just think it’s such a clever, fun and beautiful tribute to Harry Potter, and I personally would love to receive a gift like this!


Jewellery

As I mentioned before, I am a bit of a Niffler- enter jewellery obsession. I adore fun and unique costume jewellery, and am constantly struggling not to purchase items just like these pieces below. There was so much choice for some great and thoughtful stocking fillers available on EMP’s site, it was hard for me to pick just a few- BUT here they are!

Ohana Necklace – £12.99

People who know me know that I am extremely family orientated and come from an incredibly close knit immediate family. I chose this piece not only because I love Lilo and Stitch, but because I think it would be a super cute gift for any family member. I might actually purchase this myself for my little sister, to remind her I love her (even when she’s being a bratty teen!)

Alice Ear-Cuff – £12.99

As I said before, odd jewellery. I love ear cuffs, I think they look so unique and stunning, and this piece really caught my eye! I love the bronzed effect and the detail is just adorable… I really want this for myself!

The One Ring – £55.99

Now, the pricing of this one is a little steep, (depending on how much you love LOTR of course), but there are some other colours/options. I like this one in particular because the details really appeal to me, and I think anyone who adores Lord of the Rings as much as we do would love this one- if you love them enough to splash out on it of course!

PlayStation Controller Necklace – £16.99

A great homage to any PS gaming fanatics in your life, I thought this piece was cute and something I’d never seen before!


Miscellaneous

Admittedly, at this stage I felt like I had to narrow down my choices because I had a collection of mugs that I loved that would have taken me all night alone-  (there are so many- go check them out!). Because my post was already at risk of becoming too long here are some miscellaneous bits and bobs I felt like I couldn’t end this Christmas Guide without bringing to your attention.

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Fallout Nuka Cola – Gift Set – £19.99

First of all, if you’re feeling a bit unimaginative with your gifts, EMP have a couple of sets literally titled “gift sets” (I also really liked this Playstation one), but since my husband and I are great fans of Fallout, I loved seeing this one, because it looks like it could have been ripped straight from the game!

Stark Christmas Jumper – £41.99

I loved this jumper so much! I thought it was a super clever and inventive way to incorporate GOT fandom into the Christmas spirit. It’s so festive and yet so nerdy at the same time. Brilliant! I would have purchased this in a heartbeat, but the price is a little steep for me. *sad face* That being said- it’s a welcome gift if anyone likes me that much!

Tarot Cards – £14.99

As you may or may not know, I am a bit of a spiritualist and a closet witch, so I love to see things like this in more mainstream shops- even if they are sold as more of a novelty item. I loved the packaging for this set, as the little cat reminded me of Binx from Hocus Pocus! (yes, you’re right, I’m probably not entirely over Halloween yet).

Gift Card

Finally, if my guide has been too long and overwhelming, or you’ve visited the site and simply cannot choose, if you’re not sure what their favourite movie is, or if you’re simply feeling lazy and unimaginative, you could always play it safe and purchase a gift card!


Thank you!

I know I don’t say this enough but if you read my content thank you so much, it honestly means the world to me and really keeps me going. If you enjoyed this post or fancy any of the items below do feel free to share this with Santa… (or just comment below) what you’re loving too, and be sure to visit their site >> here << or by following any of the other links I’ve used above!

I really hope you’ve enjoyed this post and that maybe it’s helped you to feel even the slightest bit more festive!

Love Frankii x