23 things I’ve learned in 23 years!

Hey guys! Since it was my birthday recently, I wanted to make to make it a little more positive and share with you some of the most important things I’ve learned so far during my life. I hope you enjoy this post! Let me know in the comments one of the best life lessons you’ve ever learned that you think I need to know!!

 

1. You can never be over educated. Listen. Respect your elders. Explore other cultures- Ignorance can be cured but stupidity cannot.

2. Pay close attention to the people who don’t clap when you win. If they don’t celebrate your achievements and respond with jealousy or put you down, ditch them, they’re toxic.

3. Everyone’s path is different, life is not a race.

4. Never change who you are on the inside to please someone else.

5. It’s ok not to be ok.

6. Real Love is/should be easy, but maintaining relationships takes work on both sides.

7. Trust once broken is a thousand times more difficult to repair than to maintain

8. The people who are meant to be in your life will be. Don’t waste your energy chasing or trying to force fake friends to stay.

9. No matter how kind your intentions, some people will hate you for speaking the truth. Save your advice for people who deserve it.

10. Self-care is vital. Poor mental health can have detrimental effects physically as well as mentally, so it’s important to look after yourself in all aspects.

11. No amount of wealth or material gain can make you richer than someone with an abundance of wonderful memories. Don’t waste your life.

12. People grow and change. You should never apologise for evolving positively or leaving people behind who don’t appreciate your journey

13. Family is chosen through loyalty and love. Blood ties mean nothing.

14. Never trust people who don’t believe in magic at least to some degree!! (The worst kind of muggles)

15. The more you try to oppress your true self the more miserable your life will become. Fitting in is overrated sometimes!

16. Soulmates are definitely more than just lovers or romantic partners. Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, be it a chapter or a lifetime, and that’s ok. We learn lessons from them.

17. “We accept the love we think we deserve”. Until you learn your true value and stand up for what you’re worth it will be hard for people to treat you as such. You deserve to be treated the way you are in your wildest dreams.

18. Trust your gut instincts, but know how to distinguish them from anxiety. I truly believe that all beings are born with a sixth sense to some degree that is knocked out of them by society. If something feels wrong, it probably is- but don’t let your anxiety imitate this power.

19. A simple compliment can make someone’s whole day better. There’s so much power in that. If you can make someone happy, always do so. (The greatest NYE Resolution I ever made)

20. White, Black, Asian, fat, thin, ugly, pretty. We all look the same when we are skeletons in the ground. Always do your best not to judge people by their exterior.

21. Try new cultures. When travelling, immerse yourself into something new. Don’t just go to a foreign country to dine on burgers and chips, or to enter nightclubs that are exactly the same as the ones back home. There are so many interesting stories and things to learn about new people and places. Give it a chance.

22. No matter how much you want something, it won’t come to you unless you work for it.

23. There is always hope.

 


 

I really hope you guys enjoyed this post, or at least found something that resonates with you a little!

See you next time!

Love From Frankii x

100 Questions Tag!

ITS MY BIRTHDAY! I thought since today is basically international Francesca day, I’d do this tag to let you guys get to know me a little more- thanks to Ashleigh for tagging me!

Basics

1.What’s your name?

Francesca Denney

  1. Any nicknames or aliases?

Frankii

  1. Your gender?

Female

  1. Your star sign?

Capricorn

  1. How old are you? 

    22
  2. Your relationship status? 

    Married
  3. Any children?

None, I like the sound of silence for now thanks.

  1. Any pets?

I have a cat, but I often visit my Grandma to see her and the dog that she got when I was living with her.

9. Any tattoo’s or piercings?

I have 2 tattoos, my lobes pierced twice, A scaffold bar, a nose piercing and my belly button.

  1. What do you like about yourself?

I like my brain, my creativity, and my sense of altruism.

  1. What do you dislike about yourself?

I have this awful naivety in that I often forget that not everybody is kind or honest. I also dislike my anxiety and that it can sometimes make me irritable.

  1. Righty or lefty?

Right

Lasts

  1. The last thing you drank?

Water

  1. The last thing you ate?

Salmon and Broccoli

  1. Your last phone call?

My Grandma

  1. Your last text message?

“Much Excite” to Austin, re. food he was bringing home from base, lol!

  1. Your last email?

I sent a few links to IGN to Austin’s Papa last night because he couldn’t get past a level on Lara Croft! Lol!!

  1. The last song you listened to?

“Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” – Frank Sinatra

  1. The last book you read?

A Game of Thrones by George R.R Martin.

  1. The last time you cried?

Last month after an argument

  1. The last blog you read?

Becca!

  1. The last person you spoke to?

My Husband

  1. The last place you visited?

My Grandma’s lastnight

  1. Your last holiday abroad?

France, two years ago! Way too long ago!!

 

Have you ever?

  1. Have you ever gotten back with an ex?

Ew no

  1. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yeah, more times than I care to count

  1. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No. Cheaters are trash.

  1. Have you ever lost anyone special to you?

Yes

  1. Have you ever been so drunk you threw up?

A handful of times at uni, yes.

  1. Have you ever fallen out of love with someone?

Yes.

  1. Have you ever met someone who changed you?

Yeah. I believe in soulmates, I think a lot of people come into your life to change it for good or bad, they’re still lessons.

  1. Have you ever been in a situation where you found out who your true friends were?

Several times, most recently marrying young showed me a lot of people only cared about me because I was single and there.

  1. Have you ever kissed someone you probably shouldn’t have?

Yes

  1. Have you ever found out people were talking about you behind your back?

When haven’t I? The small town mentality where I live is WILD.

  1. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

No

  1. Have you ever kissed a stranger?

Yes

  1. Have you ever had your heart broken?

At the time I probably thought I had, but I hadn’t

  1. Have you ever had sex on the first date?

Yes

  1. Have you ever been arrested?

Nope

  1. Have you ever been attracted to someone who isn’t the gender you usually find attractive?

I can appreciate beauty in the whole gender spectrum, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I’ve been “attracted” to a woman, no.

  1. Have you ever done something you regret?

At the time, yes, but I try to look back on everything as a learning experience.

  1. Have you ever had a threesome?

Nope

  1. Have you ever embarrassed yourself in public?

All the time!

  1. Have you ever misjudged someone?

Not really, actually. I’m a very good judge of character, and the times I’ve told myself off for being too judgemental in advance I’ve always been proven right a few months down the line.

Your Beliefs and Opinions

  1. Do you believe in God?

Yes and no. I believe there’s something, but I think there’s too much suffering in the world for it to be an all-benevolent “God”.

  1. Do you believe in yourself?

Yes, I’m working through my anxiety and self doubt.

  1. Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Of course!! Only big Scrooges don’t! 😉

  1. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes

  1. Do you believe in aliens?

Yes, the universe is so vast there must be other intelligent life out there somewhere

  1. Do you believe in miracles?

Not really

  1. Do you believe in the power of positive thinking?

Yes and no

  1. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I do since I met my husband

  1. Can money make you happy?

I love that saying “I’d rather be crying in a Mercedes than on the bus”. I definitely think money can help, but nothing can ever come close to happiness caused by love and human kindness.

  1. Would you describe yourself as a feminist?

100%

  1. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

Pro-choice. I don’t care what religion you are you should never enforce it on another human being when there is no scientific evidence to prove that “life” begins at contraception. Not only that, but I don’t think the term pro-life is correct, as it’s often more like pro-birth. It means that unwanted children are brought into the world and often find themselves being bounced around adoption centres/and or bad foster homes for their whole lives. My mum works in a care home for teenagers which is full of such children, many victims of abuse by their foster parents. Unless you are ready to adopt an unwanted child I don’t believe you can call yourself “pro-life”. Sorry.

  1. Do you have strong political beliefs?

I do indeed, I love politics.

  1. Do you have strong religious beliefs?

No.

  1. What do you think the most important thing you can give a child?

Unconditional love and a stable home-life.

Right Now

  1. Are you eating anything right now?

Nope, I’m waiting for Austin

  1. Are you drinking anything right now?

Water

  1. What are you listening to right now?

I’m watching KUWTK on Hayu

  1. What are you thinking about right now?

This blog post and the Charley’s Austin is bringing home!!

  1. What are you waiting for right now?

Again, the Charley’s Austin is bringing home!!

  1. What are you most excited about right now?

Definitely Christmas, I always get so excited to give people the gifts I got them!

  1. What’s your pet hate?

Closed mindedness, and people who have no manners or social awareness. It makes me cringe and I just don’t get how you can’t tell when you’re being rude making other people uncomfortable. (obviously special needs and mental health is an exception)

  1. What’s your favourite thing right now?

Reading blogs in the bath has become an odd little routine for me, I love having that “me” time.

  1. If you weren’t answering these questions, what would you be doing right now?

Probably in the bath with my some secret Santa gifts that arrived this morning!

Firsts

  1. Your first best friend?

A little girl called Melissa, I believe.

  1. Your first kiss?

Year 9, it was sloppy and gross and I avoided him for 2 weeks after until he dumped me. LOL.

  1. Your first celebrity crush?

Enrique Iglesias. (sorry mum.)

  1. Your first holiday?

Disneyland Florida? Possibly?

  1. Your first pet?

Matty, a Polish Lowland Sheepdog.

  1. Your first regret?

Probably one of the many morons I dated when I was younger…

  1. Your first job?

I worked for a while as a stable hand when I was about 13.

  1. Your first childhood memory?

Being pulled through the mud by Matty as a toddler because he was barking at something.

 

Which one?

  1. Love or money?

Love

  1. Twitter or Facebook?

Twitter

  1. Hook up or relationship?

Relationship

  1. Dogs or cats?

Dogs 100%

  1. Coffee or tea?

Coffee

  1. Beer or wine?

At a push, wine? Provided it wasn’t too dry. Or Mexican beer like Desperdos.

  1. Sweet or savoury?

Depends on my mood really.

  1. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert 100%.

  1. Vampires or werewolves?

Vampires

  1. Seaside or countryside?

The seaside!

  1. Summer or winter?

Both for different reasons. I hate being too hot but Summer always seems more exciting with more going on. If I had to pick, winter, because its so beautiful and full of love, especially around Christmas time.

  1. Books or movies?

Movies, but only since I graduated, I haven’t really been able to focus on reading like I used to for awhile because I’ve grown so accustomed to being forced to read stuff I didn’t want to.

  1. Horror or comedy?

Comedy, I find Horror films boring and cringe for the most part.

 

A Few Questions to Finish

  1. Do you wish you could change your past?

I wish I’d done certain things a bit differently just to make my life easier, but everything happens for a reason.

  1. What’s your dream job?

CEO of a Makeup Brand. (Dream big or go home I guess?) But for now I’d love a little something in digital marketing.

  1. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Nutella from the Jar, using the bath to hide from my husband and his guitar when I miss silence… I have several!

  1. What are you afraid of?

Failure, not achieving anything in my lifetime, dying alone.

  1. What did you want to be when you grew up?

A vet

  1. If you had any super power, what would it be?

Invisibility.

  1. If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?

I often wonder if I’d done university differently, If I’d taken a more specific subject, or moved to the USA with Austin for a few years before he extended his tour in the UK… but I try not to dwell because I hope I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

  1. Would you want immortality?

Only if it included my loved ones, so most probably not.

  1. If you could interview anyone alive or dead who would it be?

Madeleine McCann.

  1. Would you say you are happy?

Yes… mostly.

  1. What one piece of advice would you give yourself at age eighteen?

Boys are trash, focus on you and your education and stop binge eating.

  1. Where would you like to be in five years?

I’d like to be working from home, for myself, and possibly with our first child on the way.

Birthdays suck…

Every year I dread my Birthday. I always see people with big extravagant parties, gifts and surrounded by family and friends. As an introvert, and as someone who suffers with anxiety, my friendship circle has always been small. I struggle making new friends, because I’m always weary of new people who might judge me or misunderstand my self-care/hibernation periods. I spent far too much of my young adult life trying to please and impress people who never cared a smidge about me- so nowadays I’d rather have no friends than I would fake friends. I’ve made peace with that, and I love my small collection of remaining friends.

Previously, where I may have tried to organise a big meal or event with “friends”, in recent years for the most part I’ve given up. Sometimes I find life a little tough as I always feel a bit on the outside. Like I’m always a friend but never a “best-friend”.

As it happens, since January 3rd is such an awkward date, I’ve always found that people will produce a multitude of excuses and flake. “I have no money”, “I’m still hungover from NYE”, “I’m back at work that day”, “I’m with family”. While these are all valid excuses, I became exhausted by getting my hopes up every year that one year would be different and that someone would remember and give me an amazing surprise- or at the very least, make the day less depressing.

In essence, nothing about 23 is an exciting age, and at this stage I’m fairly certain I will be spending it alone with my cat. All I ever really hope for are memories. I just wish that my birthdays didn’t always seem to merge into one constant dreary January. This year I had my best friends over and a visitor for Austin over for New Year, so I suppose that today after dropping them off at the train station anything would feel slightly anticlimactic- but my husband and my mum this year both couldn’t take it off work. Of course, this isn’t their fault, but it does add substantially to the feeling of disappointment. I’m quite family oriented and I live for the moments that involve the whole family together spending some quality time just laughing.

Furthermore, now I’m past 21, I struggle to get excited about hitting age milestones. It makes me feel a little frightened at the speed my life is going, and generally just more aware of my own mortality. My birthday always serves as a reminder I’m probably almost a quarter of a way through my life, and that I’ve barely achieved anything in that time. Not only that, but it actually seems to serve as a cute little reminder of how lonely and isolated I’ve become. All in all, I will probably spend tomorrow in bed, napping, and playing the PS4… and I’m ok with that.

The intent of this post isn’t to sound whiny, selfish and entitled, but I really want to make a point of sharing both the good and the bad parts of mental health. This time of year is never a great one for me, but alas, there’s always next year. Wish me happy gaming!

Love,

Frankii.